A Bad Combination
by Harmony283
Summary: But then this wasn’t supposed to be a competition, was it? Lavi x Kanda x Allen dgmkinkmeme fill FINALLY FINISHED/UPLOADED! R&R please!


**Title: **A Bad Combination  
**Fandom: **D. Gray Man  
**Pairing: **Lavi x Kanda x Allen (or Lavi x Kanda, Lavi x Allen)  
**For: **the dgmkinkmeme (forever and ages ago, though—my god I feel bad for it _taking_ this long, especially since I put so much up of it on the kink meme and then just _stopped_) *bows head deeply in apology*  
**Kink: **Lavi takes Allen and Kanda out to a pub (for any reason). Allen and Kanda get drunk, Lavi doesn't (on purpose), but their drinks have all been messed with (i.e. laced with aphrodesiacs). Lavi, being smart, catches on, but, also being a hormonal teenager, decides to take advantage of this opportunity. seme!Lavi all the way! (i.e. 1 seme and 2 ukes) Also, Kanda is a sad drunk, and Allen is a slutty drunk. I would also be interested in seeing how Lavi explains himself in the morning.

**A/N: **I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AGAIN (I know a few people were definitely looking forward to it). I took it on before I got drowned in school work, and then I got drowned in school work and my inspiration for this fic ran off—coincidentally _just_ as I was about to write the smut. So I pretty much feel like I failed with the smut, I know it is and I'm really sorry about it (I think I burnt myself out on foreplay)—but still—I have it now, and despite everything, I'm really proud of myself for actually _completing _it. *nod* Also this would have gone up just on LJ, except for it was being evil about the page length/etc THUS it's going up here. And now I'll shut up rambling so you can read.

But first some warnings:

**Warning(s): **besides what the kink mentions (yaoi, threesome, underaged drinking, crying!Kanda, flirty!Allen, and sober!horny!Lavi), this is AU, with a smattering of language, jealousy and a very hard question at the end. *nod*

* * *

It had been a good idea at the time, or at least, Lavi had thought it was. After all, what could go wrong? Allen had just graduated from High School, Tiedoll was away for a month traveling the countryside (Lavi didn't want to know what sort of strings Kanda pulled to get _that_ to work out as well as it had) and Bookman had finally agreed to go back and visit his estranged family over the summer, leaving Lavi completely and utterly alone in the apartment.

So it was perfectly okay to call up his two best friends, right? No harm in that, right? No one would be hurt by one night of innocent clubbing? Bar hopping? Kanda was so uptight anyway, and Allen, heck, Allen had only seen the aftermath of such a night, he never got to _join in_.

So it was perfectly acceptable when the idea popped into his head that afternoon, and he called them up.

"Meet at my place around eight," he had said, laughing into the phone. He remembered Allen's easy compliance ("It's a surprise! Don't worry, you'll like it!") and Kanda's steely threat ("Oh but, _Yuu-chan_! It'll be fun!" "Does the _Moyashi_ know where the fuck you're taking us?" "…Nooo…" "_Che_, that's not even allowed." "But I've got connections! You have to come! I mean, think about it, y'don't _have_ to get drunk! We can just tease Allen a little bit!" He remembered the stagnant pause afterward, before he answered, "You're carrying him back if he gets drunk. And explaining. And taking the blame for it if we get caught." )

That one had been a tall order to fill, but he had agreed.

And really, it was all in good fun, right?

_Right_?

So why the hell had he locked himself in the bathroom of his own place, cowering in fear as Kanda nearly tore the door down and Allen slept, in passed out stupor, in the next room over?

Well.

The story went a little something like this…

**Flashback mode starts now---------------------------------------------------**

"What?" Lavi chuckled at the downright floored expression the younger teens face; at the eyes that seemed to impossibly widen, like the boy couldn't possible comprehend what had just happened, "We're…going…_barhopping_?"

Kanda grumbled something about 'idiot beansprouts' under his breath, as he leaned against the counter of Lavi's (Bookman's) kitchen, fiddling with his Keys, and Allen shot him a scathing look that made this all the more hilarious. Really.

"Yup, that's basically it." Lavi couldn't help the next fit of giggles as they rose from the back of his throat, and deepened out in the air between him, and Allen's embarrassedly gawking _innocent_ face.

"B-But—"

Kanda sighed, cutting the younger one off, "I told you this was a bad idea." He ground out, shooting daggers at Lavi, "The damn _Moyashi_ obviously doesn't want to go." Allen was too stupefied to send him his usual glare at the use of the degrading nickname.

"Oh, but, it'll be _fun_!"

"I'm underage, though!" Allen pointed out, eyes widening again, words tinted with an edge of panic, "I can't go to a bar like that and _drink_ when I'm underage!"

Lavi let out another laugh at that, deeper this time, and crossed the short distance between them, ruffling Allen's hair almost affectionately, "Don't worry about such a small detail! Heck, kids start drinkin' when they're like, what? Sixteen now?" He glanced over at Kanda who eloquently bowed his head--

"Fourteen."

Lavi let out a whistle, "So Marie's had to deal with the young 'uns?"  
Kanda shrugged his shoulders simply, "How should I know? I just overheard him." His eyes snapped back to the Moyashi and he scowled, "If the brat doesn't want to go, then don't make him go."

"You're just trying to be a spoil-sport," Lavi chastised.

"My evening's ruined either way." Kanda ground out, "Do you _know_ how much fucking convincing it took me to _not_ have Tiedoll drag me all the way to fucking Europe—"

"France." Lavi corrected.

"--_France_, what the fucks the difference?!—and leave me _behind_?" he exhaled sharply, before turning away, "If he knew I was going out _drinking_, much less with a fucking _Moyashi_ who just turned legal five-fucking-months ago, he'd skin me."

Allen only swallowed at the loud, and heavy proclamation.

But Lavi didn't seem particularly bothered, "See? This is why ya gotta bend the rules at _least_ once, Yuu-chan!" Kanda's lips set in a frown at the use of the childish nickname, "Besides, I'm sure since Marie's in the police force here—you'll get let off easy. Just a slap on the wrist! It's no biggie, right?"

"Yes it _is_ a big deal." Kanda and Allen both answered simultaneously, shooting each other glares of contempt right after the fact.

"Oh?~" And Lavi just found it all so damn amusing, "And why's that? It's not like Cross gives a fuck what you do now, right?"

Allen inhaled sharply, "Well…no, he doesn't. But," he paused, swallowing, "I _don't_ want to be like that! Haven't I already _told_ you about the incident with the chocolate?"

They both shot him equally confused looks.

"I…haven't, then, have I?" Allen shrunk back from the glances, before immediately straightening up, "W-Well—you…I just…_stay away_ from Alcohol. It never ends well."  
"Yeah but," Lavi started.

"Yeah but, _nothing_. I don't want to be like Cross anyway," Allen shook his head, "I mean, I don't wanna sound like I'm spoiling your fun or anything; I _would_ like to go out with you guys tonight—y'know, to hang out or whatever." He feebly tugged at the hem of his sleeve, eyes downcast, "Just…no drinking."

If Lavi hadn't felt so disappointed by that, he would have thought the boy looked quite _cute_ with such an innocent expression on his face. But he wouldn't give that easily. The boy said he didn't want to _drink_, did he? Well, Lavi knew more than one way around _that_…

Though he didn't like peer pressure—especially pressuring _friends_--it really did prove handy in certain situations. This would obviously be one of them, he could tell, when Allen chanced a glance back up at him, and Kanda 'che'd'.

"Aww, jeez," Lavi let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his head, before casting an apologetic grin at Allen, "okay, okay, no drinking for you. But we're still going together, right?" Kanda made some sort of hissing noise at him, but he wasn't looking when Lavi chanced a glance in his direction, instead he seemed particularly interested in his keys again.

"Yeah, that's fine with me." Allen smiled then, shoulders relaxing, "Just don't get drunk, okay? I don't wanna have to deal with that from you, too."

"O'course not." Lavi patted him on the shoulder, grip lasting a little longer than usual, "I hold my alcohol _real_ well, so I wouldn't worry about me." He looked over at Kanda again, who _still_ wasn't looking at them, "What about you, Yuu-chan?" the man's eyes focused on his for half a second before drifting away again, back to his keys.

_Ah,_ Lavi felt a smile stretch on his lips, "Figured you wouldn't be the type." He hummed, causing Allen to shoot him a confused look, "Not ta worry though, the bar's not that far from here—good thing about livin' in a city, not a suburb, _everything's_ within walkin' distance." He pat Allen's shoulder again, cast another grin at Kanda, before letting out a laugh, "So why don't we get goin'? The night's still young, after all."

Both Allen and Kanda shot him a look at that—Allen's accompanied by a smile, Kanda's of chilly annoyance—as he began to move towards the door, dragging them both with him.

"You have your wallet don't you?" Kanda asked as the door closed behind the redhead, "Because I'm not fucking paying for this again."

"Don't worry, don't worry." Lavi waved the concerned question off, "I'm payin' tonight. It's not like Gramp's planned for me to starve while he's gone."

"But aren't you on a budget?" Now Allen was worried, and really, Lavi wanted to bop Kanda up side the head for it (he would have too, if the man didn't have such violent tendencies).

So instead he laughed and waved it off again, "I got a bit of leeway. We always get a bit of leeway." But as always, he dropped the conversation after that, and he was so glad now that neither asked him anymore about what he meant.

It wasn't like he could explain it, anyway.

It wasn't like there was much of a _point_ to it either. He just kept a smile on his face and kept moving along the sidewalk, through the balmy night air. He could hear the sound of traffic—it was a near constant—along one of the main roads, only two streets over, and felt his lips twitch.  
"Oh, oh, I haven't told ya about this place, have I?" He glanced back at the both of them, and they both glanced back, "It's relatively new, y'know."

"Really?" Allen, as always, tried to add to the conversation, "What's it called?" and of course he would ask that too, because knowing Cross meant you knew practically every Bar in the region, and if you hadn't heard of it at least once, then that either meant it was crappy (though Cross tended to talk if it was Crappy) or it really _was_ grand spanking new.

"The Dancing Pineapple." Kanda coughed loudly at that, "What? It's got a weird name, but it sounds fun!" Lavi let out a laugh at Kanda's continued incredulous glare, "Heck, it _looks_ fun too. Have you _seen_ the place?"

"No." Two voices answers him.

Lavi laughed again, "Obviously not, considerin' it's new an' all. Oh, and the waitresses are hot." Not that either of them would be particularly interested in that aspect of it. It was fairly well known by now that where Allen was far too _innocent_ (and perhaps, turned off by the fact that it was _Cross_ who had raised him for most of his prepubescent life) to care about such things as looks, and Kanda was just plain asexual in all sense of the word.

Neither had held a steady girlfriend; not even in the past years (though Allen's relationship with Lenalee had gone fairly well, in the end it wouldn't have worked out, but Lavi had to give the guy props for putting up with Komui's stalkerish tendencies for so long). Kanda hadn't even so much as _dated_. Though there were the 'crushes' and the 'fanclubs' and oh holy _hell_ he didn't need to think of that at a time like this.

Though it had been funny. Outrageously funny.

"What are you laughing about?" Lavi jolted when he heard Kanda's voice, right next to him, on his right. Allen was on his left, blinking at him, curiously.

"Ah, just thinkin' about way back in High School."

Kanda's face immediately soured, "Why the fuck would you do _that_?"

"I just got _out_ of High School." Allen's face was equally as pained, "I only remember the stupid exams and," he cut himself off, face twisting to something painful.

_Ah, crap_

"Komui?" But Kanda had no tact on that subject, and grinned, mercilessly down at the white haired teen, "Che, told ya that wasn't going to work out."

Immediately Allen's hand flew to his mouth, "I still remember it…" Lavi reached out to pat the boy on the shoulder, "the food—the man tried to poison my _food_!" He had to bite back laughter—Allen's face was so _serious_, and really, to anyone else the man could have done worse (to anyone else, they would be sad to lose such a catch like Lenalee) but then…Allen loved his food. With the way the boy's metabolism worked, it was no small wonder.

Lavi was suddenly very glad he got paid so much.

"That's like…blasphemy!" Allen continued, hand still firmly over his mouth at the memory. Kanda continued to snigger silently to himself, and Lavi had to admit—it _was_ funny.

"Yeah, yeah, we remember." And they did. Lenalee—not knowing what to do—had called both of them frantically to try and convince her brother that what he had done was wrong, and that maybe Allen needed to go to the hospital.

They had both spent the night (grudgingly, in Kanda's case) on a very uncomfortable living room couch, alternating shifts between helping Allen to the bathroom to throw up, and getting him whatever else he needed.

(Lavi couldn't help but wonder, at the time, if Allen hadn't just played it up a little. Just because, really? When was he ever going to get _Kanda Yuu_ to do anything for him? It wasn't likely, and it was still a form of heavy blackmail—and it was all just so damn amusing)

"I can't believe they're even related." Allen finally dropped his hand and sighed, suddenly shifting closer to Lavi's side as they crossed the street, over to the other sidewalk, which had infinitely more people on it.

Immediately Lavi brought his arm up, and around Allen's shoulders, pulling him closer with a steadfast smile on his face, "Yeah it's surprising, isn't it? You still talk to her?"

The breakup had been messy after that, Lavi knew, but it was unlike Allen to just stop talking to someone just because of that; even Lenalee had agreed to keep in contact (though on her end, she had to be that much more careful, due to…really…Komui's 'protective' meter shot off the charts most days, Lavi wondered how Lenalee dealt with it).

"Ah, I think she's going out of state." Lavi's eyes widened, so did Kanda's, "Yeah, surprising isn't it? I thought for sure Komui'd force her to go somewhere in-state—five minutes from home. Apparently he cried over it too," he chuckled lowly at that, "Though apparently she got a really nice scholarship—and is paid nearly all the way through. So he couldn't really say no."

Lavi had to laugh at that, "Damn, she really _can_ hold her own, can't she?" He turned to Kanda to see his reaction, and was pleased to see his lips twitch ever so slightly upward in a smile.

"Well, she _is_ his sister." Allen reminded him, smiling as well, "She's gotta get a bit forward at least some time." He paused, thinking that statement over, before shuddering and shaking it off.

Lavi couldn't help but be curious, "You cold?" He asked, just for the sake of it, squeezing Allen a little closer.

The younger male flinched, but shrugged, "Eh, no, it's warm out _Lavi_ why would I be cold?" Apparently the boy didn't get it, not that Lavi could blame him.

"Eh, just wonderin'," He shrugged it off as well, slipping his arm from Allen's shoulders and using it to point at the building they were nearly right in front of, "See, that's the place~"

Both turned and raised their heads to look at where Lavi was pointing.  
Allen let out a short laugh, while Kanda simply growled.

And a neon sign, blinked, lazily, a bright yellow and green. A pineapple.

A _dancing_ pineapple.

"What the fuck?" Kanda had stopped dead in his tracks to glare, and Lavi could only laugh, "What the fuck _is_ this place? Some kind of—" He trailed off, when he saw tow teenagers (one male, one female) stumbling out of the bar, laughing loudly about something or other.

Both drunk, Lavi could tell, when they stumbled past them, not even aware of their presence.

Kanda let a low growl rumble in the back of his throat as the drunk girl cast him an appreciative look, but before Kanda could bark out anything obscene, Lavi wrapped an arm firmly around his lower waist, and tutted.

"Now, now, Yuu-chan," he kept a hand firmly on the man's hip, where he knew the other was painfully sensitive (_sensitive_ not ticklish. Kanda hated that word), "Let's go. It's getting' late and I think they close at twelve."

"We'll be staying there for that long?" Lavi couldn't help but notice the way Allen's eyes drifted to where he had placed his hands on Kanda's thighs, Lavi didn't even need to guess what that meant.

"If you plan to order anything, hell yeah." He ran his fingertips lightly along Kanda's hips, making the slightly older boy jolt and scowl, and shove him away.

Lavi was pleased when he saw the blush.

"I-I'll try not to order too much, then."

Lavi shook his head, "Neh, it's fine. I'm sure they'd love the business."  
He grinned and looped his arm once more around Allen's shoulders, "Besides, they'll be catering to Cross at some point, so they might as well get used to _you_." He noticed Allen's face pale slightly at that, but ignored it, instead pressing his hand into the small of the other boy's back, towards the building.

He cast a glance back at Kanda once he had entered through the front doors, and was thankful when the man had followed without any sort of goading.

With Kanda Yuu, no one really knew _what_ to expect. Really. Lavi was just thankful today the man decided to be in a good mood…even if he was still sour about the whole thing (for reasons Lavi couldn't guess. Was it the drinking? Was it the Moyashi? Was it him? Was it just because he had a bad day? And if so, what caused it? He was always so _curious_ when it came to the obsidian haired man. He couldn't help it, even with Bookman's warnings—it just…all piled up—and—)

"Hello, how may I help you?" A smiling waitress greeted them, and immediately Lavi's focus jumped from black hair, to a strawberry blonde with…

Pink Highlights? Very voluptuous chest too--

Lavi snapped his eyes (err, well, _eye_) back to the girls face, "Ah, hello there~" he grinned easily, "Table for three please."

The woman glanced between all three of them, and though it seemed to be innocent enough he saw the glint there. The glint of interest, which was quickly hidden as she turned her face away to grab three menus, "Okay then, right this way please! We actually just have a table ready~"

She led the three of them through the haze of dim lights, cooked food, and cigarette smoke; through the laughter and—one man crying (a crying drunk, Lavi wondered if Allen or Kanda would be like that), another telling a ridiculously loud joke, and heck, even the manager was out, talking to a few of the customers, with a waitress that looked close to _tears_.

He saw the blonde look over towards the commotion and cluck her tongue silently. But she turned her head away fast enough, showing them to a high rise table near the bar.

"Here you are." She said just as chipper as normal, waiting for all three of them to be seated, "My name is Rebecca LeGuerrier, and I will be your server today!" Lavi could see Kanda scowl, and the _Moyashi_ attempt to smile back (while kicking the man in the leg under the table) but he knew she'd be distracted. Or she was. He knew the minute she got their order of drinks, and headed into the backroom, she'd come back out again to the now outwardly sobbing waitress, and try to comfort her the best way that she knew how.

"What would you like to drink?" She asked, eyeing them again, with a distracted sort of interest.

"Neh, well," Lavi flipped to the back, smiling when he saw the selections of wine, beer, and specialty drinks, "I'll have some Pineapple Rum,"  
"We have three kinds, Cruzan, Captain Morgan's, and Malibu, which would you prefer?"

Lavi let out a low chuckle, "Captain Morgan's, had it last time an' it was great~" The waitress smiled and scrawled that down on her notepad. Then she turned to Kanda.

"And you?" She asked politely, giving him a once over with her eyes that the man thankfully didn't catch.

"Plum wine." He answered almost immediately, and Lavi had to wonder when the man's tastes would change.

But then, it was the closest thing to _home_--to Japanese culture (which he had only spent a few years of his life living under) which he apparently missed, for whatever reason. Now wasn't time to talk about that, though. Lavi knew better.

"Okay then," She scrawled that down on the notepad as well, before turning to Allen, an eyebrow raised.

The young boy looked nervous, and Lavi couldn't help but grin slightly. Ah, his plan was working. Allen was being coaxed (though the older man doubted if he knew it) into getting something, definitely fruit flavored, and a 7 out of 10 chance of being alcoholic.

Lavi had to muffle his chuckle when the boy finally decided, "Ah…I _would_ like to try the Banana Daiquiri, but…" he trailed off, and really, Lavi couldn't hold back the chuckle.

"Then why not? I'm paying for it." He turned to the waitress, smiling, "Sorry, sorry, it's his first time with the drink," immediately the waitress's eyes lit up in understanding. She didn't even ask for Allen's age; she simply jotted it down on the paper.

"Okay then, I'll drop your order off at the bar, and then I'll be back," she flashed them both a smile before turning on her heels and moving over towards the bar a few feet away—where she told Allen's order to a man with blond-golden hair, held back in a tight ponytail, and with a face too strict to be a bartenders.

Not that Lavi knew anything about that.

He just knew, more often than not, they had to deal with things they normally didn't want to. And from the way he kept glancing over at the now quietly sobbing and apologizing waitress—that Rebecca was now leading away from said table (shooting the manager a dirty glance as the man tried to explain the situation)—he had no doubt that if the customers stayed any longer, he would inevitably be the one to throw them out.

"I can't believe I just ordered that." Lavi's attention immediately snapped back to the white haired teen next to him. He had completely deflated, and now was slumping, slightly, head resting on the table.

Lavi let out a chuckle, "Oh c'mon, it's not _too_ bad. She didn't even ask you your age or anything!" Allen turned his head towards him and shot him a look.

Lavi only laughed.

Or, well, _would have_ if the man across from him wasn't staring daggers at him. When he looked at said man, he could more than read the look in those dark eyes, _'If this screws up…'_ it was that very same threat again.

And it wasn't like Lavi knew he wouldn't get in trouble either. Not that the old Panda cared much about drinking—he just always said 'don't drink enough to get trashed. It affects your records'." And then on the rare occasion that he had (he would never tell, but he had definitely had _his_ first drink at a younger age than fourteen. Oh no, no one needed to know how _that_ turned out) the old man would simply force him over and kick the ever living hell out of him.

Lavi could handle that.

It was just the other things he couldn't.

But he pushed those thoughts from his mind as well, grinning at the flash of curiosity easily seen in the other man's eyes, before letting out another laugh, "But, neh, Allen, you gonna order anything else?"

The white haired boy lifted his head to look at the menu, "I…don't know." He mumbled offhandedly, "What do they have here?"

"Oh, they've got some good stuff. Heard their stake's pretty good. With the pineapple sauce they have to go with it."

He heard Kanda snort and that, and mutter something akin to, _'Of course, fucking pineapples'_ under his breath.

"So you really ate here last time?"

Lavi couldn't help but laugh at the boy's surprised expression, "Of course I have! Wouldn't be treatin' ya if I didn't." He hoped the two wouldn't ask him _why_ but then…well…he wouldn't tell them anyway. He wouldn't tell them it was a client, and that it was the very same one that advised the old Panda to take a break. They didn't need to know that.

It was personal info, in any case. One he wasn't about to indulge in. Why would he want to ruin the mood anyway?

"So it's really okay if I order something?" Allen looked hopeful.

"Well it's better you order an' eat here, than you eat me outta house an' home when we get back to my (Bookman's) apartment." Lavi laughed, patting the boy intimately on the thigh.

Kanda che'd from across the table, and soon they fell into some sort of awkward silence. Or tried to. Because Lavi couldn't have _that_ either.

"Now lemme see," He completely ignored Allen's personal space and read off the boy's own menu, smirking at the light flush that crossed the boy's cheeks—he really _was_ too innocent—"they've got the steak that I mentioned, they've also got a shrimp platter, the classic salads—oh and their deserts are _awesome_--" he flipped the page, blatantly ignoring the intake of breath and the scowl that set deeper on Kanda's face, and pointed to one of the fluffy looking pieces of cake piled high with a kind of cream he was sure Allen would drool over.

The boy simply shifted though, nervously, the entire time Lavi explained (in very thorough detail, _insanely close_ to the teen, with his hand still placed _right there on his thigh_--

It was only when their drinks arrived—catered not by Rebecca, but by a male waiter Lavi couldn't recognize—that Lavi drew back, grinning and thanking the man…sliding Allen's drink to him, while taking his and—  
He couldn't help but feel something was off.

"Terribly sorry that Rebe couldn't come back out," the male waiter said, smiling in a way Lavi didn't entirely like, "My name is Wisely, and I'll be your server for the rest of the evening." He attempted a less creepy smile…but it still unnerved Lavi.

He shrugged it off for a moment, turning to Allen, "Neh, Allen, you want anything?" He asked cheerfully, ignoring the eyes that suddenly focused on him.  
Allen was looking back at the menu, "Uh…the Round House Appetizer looks good." He mumbled more to himself than to anyone else, "And I just ate before I left so it's not like I'm really hungry but," he paused again, looking over at Lavi.

Lavi just smiled, "If ya want it go ahead an' order it~"

So he did, in that oblivious way of his that he always had; smiling like this waiter was just like anyone he would ever meet and become friends with. The man seemed slightly startled, but jotted down the order well enough, nodded his head, and walked off, bandanna (were they allowed to wear those?) trailing off behind him.

Lavi's bad feeling only got worse, when he turned back to Allen and watched him take a sip. The salt around the glass…looked strange. Not to mention some of it floated in the foam, something that Lavi knew shouldn't happen if the drink was mixed properly.

Maybe his bad feeling had been correct? He turned to look over at Kanda, who was taking a similar—though less tentative—sip at his plum wine. Lavi was almost thankful that the Japanese man's eyes had always been so readable, because he could tell the man was, well, _pleased_ yes. Pleasantly surprised.

But it set uneasy with him.

Kanda hardly ever looked pleased with anything he ate unless it was soba, or tempura, or some other Japanese dish he couldn't pronounce. Glancing down at his own drink, he sighed. He could feel uneasy about Kanda and Allen's drinks—of course he could, because he could see the differences…but he would never be quite sure until he tasted it himself.  
After all, the best actor wasn't the one who _acted_ as if he had been poisoned, it was the one who actually downed the vial. Not the best analogy, but Lavi had been in too many similar situations.

This one was no different.

So he lifted his glass—also lined with the same crystalline material—and took a hearty swig. The impact hit him nearly immediately. Or, well, he had been hit with stronger stuff before, but this was just one sip from the glass. If he could gauge the amount in each glass, well, they all had an ample amount.

Kanda not so much as Allen, but then both of them had never drunk before (or drunk enough to _get_ drunk, in Kanda's case). He would have to watch them, make sure they didn't have too much because whatever it was, well, he'd just have to make sure they left early.

And that the waiter didn't follow them home.

(Lavi highly doubted he was a _waiter_, anyway. Looking back at what the man had been wearing, it wasn't the uniform. Definitely not the normal 'worker')

Besides, depending on what drug it _was_ the results could be very, very interesting. And though maybe he felt a pang of guilt somewhere in his chest area, he pushed it away—inconspicuously wiping the edges of his glass, where the drug was crushed to look like salt—and grinned.

"How ya likin' it All-en?~"

The teen coughed a bit, but nodded his head approvingly, "It's…really good!" He took another sip to prove it, blinking and cringing a bit at the strong after taste.

"Neh, neh, not too fast now." Lavi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Ya aren't used to it, after all. No one'll blame ya for taking it slow."

The face Allen made when he looked back up at him was—well--_damn_ the kid _was_ cute.

"If you say so." The boy sighed, taking another sip from the glass at a much slower rate.

He licked his lips immediately afterward, running the pink muscle along his lower lip, then upper in a way that really shouldn't have been teasing—provactive--_attractive_

But it was.

"It is really good though." Allen murmured a second later, flashing a small smile at Lavi, "Kinda…strong, but I guess that's the alcohol?"

"Yeah that's it." Lavi took a sip of his own drink, just to not feel left out (Kanda was staring at him strangely, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out how to say it) "It burns a bit at first, but it makes your stomach feel _nice_ and fuzzy afterward! Doesn't it, Yuu?"

Maybe that should have been his first hint.

The lapse in time it took Kanda to think over what he said, "_Che_, Don't call me that. And how the fuck would I know?"

"So you really _haven't_ before, have you?" Kanda shot him a glare that lacked force and was a bit fuzzy around the edges, "Aww, well y'need to get used it! It gets all fuzzy and stuff, an' y'might have a bit of a headache in the morning, maybe puke your guts out if you _really_ drank too much, but other than that, it's a blast!"

"I don't see how any of those things make it the top of the world." Allen's voice sounded small next to him, but his expression seemed…distant? Reminiscent? Both Kanda and Lavi focused their attention on the boy, "I mean, I've seen Cross," He realized he had both their attentions, and tried to smile a little brighter, "I've seen him drunk to the point he can't stand up without help, and I mean—it's _Cross_."

"The Chronically drunk man." Lavi laughed, taking a short sip of his own drink, before placing it firmly down. His fingers were feeling numb, and his vision a bit odd, but once he blinked, it cleared and he decided—no more for tonight—because hell, if the other two got drunk enough, they wouldn't notice _him_ skipping out, would they?

"Well, no," Again that wistful expression crossed over Allen's face, "he just holds his alcohol really well. I've only seen him drunk a few times, and I've known him since I was ten." That would make eight years. He _was_ the boy's legal guardian after all. No matter how much he didn't act like it.

"Still, the way he slurs, walks, talks without abandon?"

"He learned all that." Allen cut him off, smirking just a bit, "Or at least that's what he told me. It's really funny actually."

Lavi raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? Do tell!"

Allen's face broke out into a thoughtful expression, "Well, it might surprise you."

"Nothing surprises me much anymore." He made to mock-lift his glass. Allen had picked the perfect timing to say something shocking. So even if he _wasn't_ shocked, he could act like he was and set the glass back down.

What he didn't expect, though, was to _be_ actually shocked. Because at the boy's next words, the emotion was nearly genuine (as much as he let his persona be at a time like this)

"He used to have a fiancée."

The glass slammed back down on the table. Kanda's eyes widened.

"_What_?!"

"Yes the big womanizer of the century had a woman," Allen rolled his eyes, a confident movement, and took a deeper gulp from his glass—before turning fully to face Lavi, leaning back a bit to look fully into his face, "And did you know? They _were_ kinda happy. Except _she_ was the one to cheat on _him_."

Kanda gawked, and Lavi was pretty sure his expression nearly matched.  
Allen only laughed at them, "Yeah, yeah, surprising, isn't it? She was a slut though, so it made sense." The word slipped so easily from his lips, Lavi was nearly shocked.

Sweet, Innocent, _I don't cuss Allen_ had just said something like that? Maybe the medicine was affecting him faster than it was Yuu, but then…maybe there _was_ some truth to the whole spiff about brain development, and tolerance.

Not that he would go back on his word, mind you, but the change was…_interesting_.

"They loved each other, though, as much as Master _could_ of course, he was still a cold bastard even then." Allen shrugged his shoulders again and glanced over at his drink, eyes downcast a bit, "But they loved each other. A lot, _A lot_. Mana used to make jokes all the time about it~"

That was like another blow.

Allen _never_ talked about Mana. Not like that, anyway.

Kanda was just as wide eyed as he was.

"But then she died." Lavi definitely knew the boy had enough, when he talked about _death_ that way, "She left a lasting impression on him, though, y'know? Being the manipulative, coldhearted, womanizer that he is," Allen had reached up and grabbed one the napkins that had been placed on the table—he was _shredding_ it now, "I know who to blame now, y'know? For the start of it all anyway, but she's dead in her grave and it's not like I plan on digging her up again just to yell at her." He paused for a moment. The napkin was completely shredded, "Oh, her name was Maria too." He looked at Kanda, then at Lavi, and _smiled_.

And for a moment it was silent. Lavi, for once, was dumbfounded, and Kanda, well, the fact that he _wasn't_ saying anything worried him. If he had been normal he would have said 'che' by now, or maybe called him an idiot. But no.

"That's depressing." There was more emotion in his voice in just those two words (well, three, a contraction 'that is') that Lavi _knew_ he was gone. Far more gone than possibly Allen was. Or maybe just in a different way.

Before he could say anything to combat that, though, the waiter was back, this time with a tray of appetizers all for Allen's convenience.

"Here you are." The man gave off another creepy smile, setting the tray in front of them before asking, too sweetly, "Is there anything else you would like?"

"No, no," Before Lavi could answer, Allen did, with a grin that…that wasn't…like Allen, "I think we're good~" He took one of the quesadilla and dipped it in sour cream, bringing it up to his mouth before biting into it, not caring when the edges oozed out, or he got sour cream on his lips.  
Lavi vaguely wondered if anyone could look sexy eating a quesadilla.

He spent the next half a second wondering _where_ the hell that thought came from.

And the waiter—Wisely—was grinning as well, eyes focused on Allen, and Allen still didn't seem to notice, and it was all just too creepy, "I think we're good." He spoke up, snapping the man's attention back to him, "It is kinda late after all, I think I'll take the check."

Wisely scowled, but then sighed and nodded, "Okay then, one moment please. I'll get your receipt." He stalked away from the table and disappeared around the corner to where Lavi assumed one of the machines were that produced the check, and did the bill, and whatever else—and--_dammit_--

"Neh, Allen," he called out, reaching over, "Y'got some sour cream on yer cheek." He expected Allen to jolt away, to grab a napkin and wipe it off himself. But he didn't. In fact, he _leaned into_ Lavi's touch, smiling slightly—almost _seductively_ but then, Allen wasn't seductive, Lavi _knew_ this for a fact.

"Really? Where?"

Lavi wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, but he played along, lips twitching, "Right here." He wiped the bit off with his finger, "See? You're a messy eater."

"Ah," but instead of apologizing, Allen smiled again, "Thanks~" he hummed, but still leaned forward. Still didn't go back to eating, "but now your finger's messy."

"Ah, that—" Lavi really didn't know what was going on.

But suddenly his finger was in Allen's mouth, a tongue running over it. Pink, and soft, and warm and wet and—

Well if that wasn't just damn seductive. Lavi vaguely wondered how much was _really_ in the boy's drink, but then he pushed all thoughts away. Had this been anywhere else he probably would've started teasing Allen, but this was in the middle of a restaurant (albeit late at night, but there were still people here), and Kanda was currently sitting across from them.

He glanced over at said man, wondering faintly how he would react. He couldn't be that far out of it yet, Lavi knew, and the man had a tendency to be like Bookman—watching when you really don't want him to.

Sure enough, he shot them both a look, but something in it seemed…more emotional than it should. Slightly off in a way that Lavi knew was—well—the man _hadn't_ gotten drunk before, this was probably his first time, so he couldn't really blame him—but he looked almost…what was it? Well, that didn't matter, as his eyes focused in on the finger in Allen's mouth and--

_Oh shit_ Lavi made to pull away, but Allen nipped lightly at his finger.

"Che," the sound made Lavi jump, but something about it sounded particularly watery. He wasn't quite sure why…after all, Kanda wasn't the emotional type. He wouldn't cry, would he?

Or was he really drunk? As in…really, really drunk? Really?

Was he the _crying type?_

Oh that would be interesting.

"Neh, Allen, I think my finger's clean now." He made sure to keep his voice light and airy, like he hadn't noticed the slight wrongness of the transaction (oh but he had, more than had, and somewhere in his nether regions, things were starting to wake up).

Allen pouted around his finger but managed to let go—with a loud, wet, 'Pop'—and immediately he looked down at the plate.

"Hm, hm," Lavi made to look at his watch, but didn't really register the time, "Neh, Allen, you don't look so well. Your face is kinda flushed," and even in the dim lighting, he could tell it was. Just slightly, around his cheeks.

Allen hummed and took another sip of his drink (it was nearly gone, Lavi noticed, along with another _Oh shit_ when Kanda's eyes traveled to his still halfway full glass), "Really?" His eyes half lidded, turned to him once more.

"Yeah, yeah, I think you've had enough." He debated on taking the drink away, but decided against it, "Why don't we get a 'to go' box, and head back to my place?"

"But then I'll have to leave!" A snippet of Allen's un-drunk personality came back in that, eyes widening, "And—"

Lavi let out a chuckle, "Don't worry. You can bunk at my place for the night!" Immediately the boy relaxed, lips falling back to a grateful smile, "What? You really expect me to send you back to Cross tonight?"

_Oh hell no!_ A voice in his head screamed. The boy could possibly get _raped_ but the horny man with his guard all down, and drunken, and, well, _sexy_.

His thoughts were snuffed out by another onslaught of smiles, "Really?"

"Yeah really." Lavi could see the bandanna man coming back with their check, frowning slightly.

"Here you are." He muttered, face incredibly sour for reasons Lavi didn't know—nor want to guess at—"Would you like anything else?"

Lavi had to give him a little leeway for that. He was definitely a pleaser, and maybe…today couldn't be his first day working, but maybe he got goaded into it? Not that that would change the uneasiness he felt with the man.

But he smiled regardless, "Ah, yeah, actually. Can we get a to go box," He glanced over at Allen, and the man's eyes followed. The look he gave then was—well—

It left Lavi confused.

"Ah, I see," The man let out a chuckle, "First time drinking, hmm? You didn't drive here did you?"

"We walked~" Allen answered before Lavi could shut him up.

Wisely seemed surprised, "I see. Do be careful then. The nightlife isn't exactly friendly down here." His lips twisted again, and he flinched, slightly—it would be barely noticeable to those with untrained eyes—as if remembering something painful.

"Don't worry, I live close by." Maybe Lavi figured he shouldn't have said that, but he relieved the man. Sort of. And it was all so confusing.

"Good." And it did, the man even sounded relieved, as he backed away from the table, "I'll get you two boxes, I don't think everything will fit in one." And maybe the man was a little too quick on his feet to turn away.

Maybe that itself sent off another warning alarm. But Lavi decided, for once, to let it drop back, because he had bigger things to worry about than creepy waiters and bartenders who could have possibly drugged their drinks.

He had to worry about the ones who were _drugged_.

And the empty glasses. And the fact that, really? Kanda looked upset. About something. And Allen was fidgeting uncomfortably in his chair, nibbling on one of the cheese sticks. No, not _nibbling_ _sucking_ the marinara sauce off it like—like—

_Goddamn_. Now he knew better. Allen _was_ a…sexy…flirtatious…provocative drunk.

And Kanda was a moody one in the very least. Heck, for all he knew the man really might snap—but, well, he had his pride, and Lavi hoped the pride held till they left the bar. Knowing Kanda, it probably would.

Knowing the alcohol (and whatever drug his drink had been laced with) he wasn't quite so sure.

But hopefully Kanda was stronger than the drink, and hopefully they both could stand. Not that he minded carrying them (Allen was relatively light despite all the food he seemed to down), but it would be awkward, and Kanda would probably still deny help, and that would lead to all sorts of problems.

"Here are your boxes!" Allen jolted as Wisely came up—behind him this time—and placed the boxes on the table, grinning in a way that—that—

"Phank you," Allen mouthed around the cheese stick, somehow managing to keep it in his mouth without falling, and Lavi _really_ had to wonder if the boy had practice.

He immediately tossed the thought aside; violently pushing into the depths of his mind because Allen—no, sweet, innocent _Allen_ wouldn't have practice. He wouldn't no. Lavi wouldn't even think about it, because his nether-regions got a kick out of that, and—

He exhaled silently, as Wisely moved away again, allowing—more like forcing—his muscles to relax as he heard the man chuckle from a few tables over.

"Hesh niph!" This time Allen smiled around the cheese stick and—  
"Just fucking eat that already." Kanda ground out before Lavi could complete his thought, and immediately after the act, Allen bit into said cheese stick, making it melt and ooze and—

_Oh God_.

Kanda was looking away and—

_Were those…tears?_

"Phff, Kanda's a meanie!" Allen stuck a cheese coated tongue out at the older man.

Kanda didn't respond.

"I was just trying to eat! I wasn't doing anything wrong, was I?" Allen looked over at Lavi for support, eyes widening only slightly.

Lavi could only sigh, because those definitely _were_ tears at the corner of Kanda's eyes (he had to do a double take, but they definitely were. Making his eyes so bright and Allen's scowling expression really _wasn't_ pretty) and he knew they'd have to get out soon. Because Kanda certainly had his pride.

And _no one_ messed with Kanda's pride.

Even if he _was_ drunk. Very drunk. He had the glass up again, and was twirling it loosely in his grip. Lavi was almost afraid he'd drop the glass, but he didn't.

"Let's just go." He decided to say, instead, trying to keep a happy smile on his face, "Let's pack up the box, an' then you can eat it at my place, how about that?"

"You'll really let me stay over?" Lavi nodded his head. "Really, really?" His nether regions gave a positive throb when Allen licked his lips again—licked at the gooey cheese--_Did it have to be white?_--off, and swallowed it loudly.

"O'course I will! It's not like Bookman's here to yell the crap outta me." The man wouldn't even call unless it was something important, "An', hey," He turned to Kanda, "Is Marie stayin' with ya while Tiedoll's gone?"

Kanda blinked owlishly for a moment, opening his mouth to respond before, closing it, scowling, and muttering, "_Shit_."

Tears. Definitely. There.

"Ah, ah, we don't want you getting in trouble either!" Lavi probably said that a little too loudly—Kanda flinched—but he had to. He knew he had to. Kanda looked like he was about to snap and like he _needed_ above all else to just _get out_, "So why don't you stay over too? It isn't like I don't have tha room~"

Kanda gave him a look.

Only a look.

And normally he would give him more than that, a scathing glance, a shout of "Hell no" Because Kanda could get perverted when he wanted to, and well, he _was_ the next hottest thing in the world besides Lenalee—or maybe _the_ hottest depending on how you looked at it—and damn his pants were getting a little too tight for this.

He had two drunk best friends in front of him.

And yeah, he was worried. He could _say_ he was worried with every ounce of empathy he could muster. Because he had been in their places before, and really? He could feel a little bad about it too—by the fact that this was all so damn amusing. And maybe he understood now, all the drinks being forced, and all the sniggering adults that were faded in his memories—crowding above him, asking him to do things that he barely remembered, but that had felt both good, and bad and strange and different and—

He knew he shouldn't be thinking those things.

Only Bookman knew those things. These two didn't. They didn't _need_ to know, because this was now, and that was _then_. It wasn't like he was more than one person anyway. He was just a hormonal, well, not teenager, but adult.

And he just so happened to have two drunk best friends right in front of him.

Two drunk best friends, that just so happened to be _highly_ attractive on other ends of the spectrum.

Who _wouldn't_ want to try out…a few things?

He _was_ the Bookman's apprentice, after all.

"Well, well?" He managed out after a bout of light silence, looking over at Allen again, "Don't want the food to get cold before we leave right?" Allen looked down at the platter, and, almost amusingly, dipped a finger in the sour cream.

But instead of putting it in his mouth he waved it around like a flag, "You have more of this, don't cha?"

Lavi nodded his head, "O'course I do."

"Good~ This white stuff tastes good." And maybe he hadn't meant it in that way, but _damn_.

Lavi managed a half-forced chuckle, "You mean _sour cream_, kid," He reached out and ruffled his hair again, "But yeah I guess it does, now pack the food." Allen almost pouted at him, but didn't, instead, wiping his finger against a stray napkin, before starting to put the food away, unceremoniously, fitting as much as he could in one box, and then the rest in the other.

Kanda just scowled at them, and Lavi laughed.

"All ready to go then?" He questioned, taking the boxes before Allen could grab them, and standing. His vision dulled ever so slightly, but with a few blinks, his vision was back to normal.

The other two, on the other hand, well…

Kanda stumbled ever so slightly, face pinched up in a way that Lavi knew couldn't be good. He'd have to get him out and _fast_ to the privacy of, well, not outside. But away from people who would most likely remember them.

Allen was even worse, stumbling over his own two feet, and cursing (not badly, but bad enough to make Lavi's eyebrow rise) as his hip ran into the edge of the table.

"Aww, you okay?" Lavi didn't know why he wanted to sound demeaning but Allen played along easily, pouting almost seductively.

"I think I might have a bruise."

"Well then we can check when we get back to my place, eh?" Lavi laughed out, "If it looks bad we can get an icepack." He could have sworn from the expression on Allen's face, then, that that hadn't exactly been what he wanted to hear.

He tried to say exactly what that was, though, a moment later, with a half phrased sentence, "Well I was thinking you could—" But a wet cough cut him off, and Kanda—who was a good few steps in front of them—scowled.

Allen scowled right back, "_What_?" and for a stagnant moment Lavi thought the two would get in a familiar argument (they couldn't even agree on anything while _drunk_, not that Lavi expected anything less), but then, he was standing right here, wasn't he? He could stop them right?  
And Kanda really did look like he was about to cry. It was…Lavi wouldn't call it _pathetic_, or _cute_, but it was interesting and…

He let out a sigh when Allen attempted to open his mouth again, to retort, ruffling his hair in that familiar way before grinning, "Ah, ah, All-en~ the food'll get cold!"

For a moment afterward Allen just blinked up at him, before slowly nodding his head, and nuzzling into his hand, "Yeah~ Okay~"

_So cute~_

So with the boxes in his arms, and Kanda a good deal ahead of them nearly the entire way, the three left the restaurant, (Lavi couldn't help but notice Rebecca, as they stepped through the front door, off in the corner, getting into a mild argument with a man that really looked too fat for his own good, and the bartender was there with another man, with spiky green hair with yellow highlights--_what's with the weird hair colors?_ But Lavi knew he wouldn't get his answer) and stepped out into the still-balmy night air.

He had to keep his hand on Allen's shoulder practically the entire time, to keep the boy from swaying and tripping, and though Kanda was doing fine, he now had a hand clenched in a tight fist and Lavi was sure he would draw blood soon. His face also looked oddly pained, like he was holding something in that he really didn't want to.

_The Tears_ Lavi immediately deduced, and maneuvered with his free hand, to grab his keys from his pocket. If Kanda wanted to _cry_ the Lavi was more than sure the man didn't want the _Moyashi_ to see, no matter if the boy was too drunk to remember much of anything.

And maybe he should feel bad about the interest. Peeking somewhere in the back of his mind, and down below, because he had never seen it before. Never in the four years that he'd know the man, had he seen a tear shed. Not when anyone died, nor when things simply got too emotional.

Hell, Lavi himself had nearly teared up himself. Except those weren't real tears (not that anyone had to know that), and all the man did was sit there in stony silence and watch the coffin and the dead bodies roll by.

"Neh, Yuu~" And maybe it was a mistake to call out the others name when he was so on edge. But he did anyway, even when he saw the muscles tense, "Hey! Hey! Slow down~"

Lavi tried to keep his tone light, and airy as he did manage to catch up (half dragging the _Moyashi_ with him, the boy really _was_ near the 'pass over drunk' stage) to the obsidian haired man.

Who simply turned away, even as the apartment complex came into view, making a watered down "Che" sound that lacked the usual force, and really? Lavi couldn't help it at this point.

He let go of Allen for half a second to touch the man.

_Oh_.

Tears. Definitely. There.

Lavi felt his lips twitch in a way that was a smile, but worry. He had perfected it, "You okay?" He questioned lowly, keeping tabs on Allen, who staggered a bit against the wall. He didn't want any neighbors to come out and potentially see him. Not that they gave a damn (he had been louder before), and heck, maybe they'd be glad for once that it just wasn't older men.

Lavi snuffed that thought out immediately.

"Just open the damn door." He sounded like he was choking.

"Neh? If you say so." He held the curiously worried edge, but fitted the key into the lock, turning it ever so slightly with a _click_, and—  
He didn't even have to invite the man in, before he stumbled past him into the inky darkness.

"Wha's wrong with Ka-nda?" Lavi managed to coax Allen in a moment later—with much fumbling of boxes, and tripping, and blinking half lidded eyes that looked so damned seductive that Lavi _knew_ he shouldn't be _thinking_ that—

"Nothin', nothin'," Lavi easily lied, patting the teen on the shoulder before clicking the lock behind him, and switching on the light switch, "Or at least, I dun' think so." Allen simply stared at him, disbelieving, _almost_ pouting. But not quite there yet.

"He looked weird though."

Lavi stared at him for a moment, "You care?"

Allen inhaled sharply, "No~ I wanna finish my food~"

"Then finish it." Lavi waved to the small makeshift table he and Bookman never used, "I'll go talk to 'im."

"But—" Before he could even move ten spaces, Allen was wining at him, stumbling over his own two feet--_again_ to try and reach him, "I don't wanna eat alone!" The smile on his face was nothing short of some strange mix Lavi was sure only he could come up with.

And the worst thing was? He knew he grabbed his attention. With that pout that was really a smirk and maybe a bit of a frown too, and a flirtatious twitch, and soon Lavi found his arm in a vice grip, and a nose rubbing against the side of his neck.

"Besides…didn't you say you'd check the bruise I got when I hit the table?" Allen purred that practically in his ear, warm breath tantalizing and _goddamn_, Lavi nearly lost it as his nether regions sprang to life again.

And, hell, _why not_? Kanda would probably chuck something at him anyway (he had seen the man bring Mugen with him earlier. Sword-obsessed freak that he was). It wouldn't hurt to give him a few minutes—to work the worst of the tears out.

Though it would have been amusing.

"Please?" Another purr, and Lavi easily complied, turning and pinning the small boy to the nearest surface—which just so happened to be the counter. He wasn't sure if the yelp the teen gave at the motion was intentional or not, but in the long run that didn't really matter.

"Now where does it hurt?" He whispered huskily, leaning down so his breath brushed over the boy's ear. He appreciated the shiver it received, coupled with the shift as he traced down his side to grasp at the hip.

A pink tongue darted out to wet lips that really shouldn't have been attractive, or sensual, or whatever, but Lavi knew he wasn't thinking straight _anyway_, so what did it matter?

"Um, yes," one eye closed, one eye open, looking up at him, "maybe a little more…"

He didn't even need to hear the finished statement to move his hands from the boy's hips, to his backside, and _squeeze_.

Allen arched against him, mouth gaping to allow a gasp, and _damn_.

He wasn't the only one enjoying this, if the bulge he felt had anything to say about it. He couldn't wipe that grin off his face.

"Neh, Allen, is another part of you sore _too_?" He squeezed again, just for emphasis, and the boy shuddered.

"Mm, maybe," with half-hooded eyes Allen grinned, seductively and simply and this time he needed no goading from Lavi's hands to grind against him, "I should say the same for you, too, right?~"

Then a pair of hands was darting down to the front of his pants, to work on the belt there and--_damn_ did Allen really want…? Did Lavi even really want to _know_? He decided to go with the obvious, and shoved the thought to the back of his mind, as the buckle came loose.

Now he only hoped Kanda didn't up and walk in.

And right when he said that, he knew he probably shouldn't. With another grind of the hips (all Allen's fault) and a particularly loud moan (that he should have hushed up, but didn't, because _damn_ the Moyashi sounded good), and he heard a door click open.

Then footsteps.

He didn't have time to pull away, to act like nothing had happened, when he heard familiar steps walk into the room, along with a mild string of curses and then—and then a breath, halted by shock, and Lavi didn't really want to turn his head, because Allen was still clinging to him, and probably too far gone to even _care_ if the Japanese man watched, but—

He turned his head anyway.

Sure enough, Kanda was there, tears, and shock, and some other 'Not-Kanda' emotion on his face. Eyes. Staring. Right. At. Him.

Then the Moyashi.

Then back to him, mouth opening and closing to try and form words, anything, an excuse, a-a-what, Lavi didn't know, but then they glued themselves back shut and--_dammit_.

Tears.

There were still tears in his eyes, at the edges, brimming, and from the redness, and the fact they were still there, leaking slightly.

_Shit_

He never had to worry about making Yuu cry before.

_Shit, shit, shit._

Allen still clung to him, still moaned, softly, in his ear, still _ignored_ the older man, and Lavi could do nothing but watch as Kanda turned, quickly, on his heels and disappear back to wherever he had originally ran off to.

_Oh shit_ if that wasn't a mood killer right there; Lavi attempted to extract himself from Allen's iron grip, managing to succeed (somehow), and leave the teen in a puddle of hormonal mess with only the counter as a balance.

Lavi didn't even quite care that that probably looked bad.

He just didn't want Kanda to leave, or grab Mugen, because both cases would be _bad_ and dammit, he did _not_ want to get on Tiedoll's bad side. Or Marie's, or, heck, even Daisya's.

So when he slammed the door to his bedroom open, he sighed in relief when he saw Kanda there, back turned away, shoulders shaking slightly, but Mugen nowhere in sight. He breathed a sigh of relief and took two steps forward, hand reached out to grab—

Oh, but _big mistake_.

Immediately his hands shot up in defense, as Kanda jerked roughly away, glaring at him (as much as he could) through tear glazed eyes. Tears that—that weren't quite spilling over. But close. So close and _dammit_.

"Yuu," he tried to keep his voice calm as he could.

"What?" The words made him flinch, for all their bitterness and…was that jealousy? Now wasn't the time to analyze.

"Ah, are you…?" He trailed off, swallowed, then continued, "okay? Are you…?"

"What do you think?" It was surprising how coherent he was, even when drunk, and Lavi would have, on any other occasion, been impressed, "I…just…fucking…you're with the _Moyashi_ aren't you?"

For all the world he sounded _hurt_ like Lavi had—had…

He could only shake his head, "No, Yuu-chan, you—"

"Got it wrong?" The words were hissed and thick, and the tears were leaking out now, almost pathetically, but Kanda wasn't pathetic, "Then what the fuck _was_ that?"

_Ah, that_

"Th-that," he tried, but how could he explain it? Kanda was giving him a look that told him he needed to be more than careful, "W-well…he's drunk."  
And, well, that was more than a little lame.

Kanda gave a wet chuckle, "No _shit_."

"Nonono!" Hands up again, hands wanting again, to reach out to those shoulders, "I mean that's—he—"

"You let him hump you like a fucking _dog_." Venom now, but more tears, and a hand came up to wipe them away and Lavi? Lavi wanted to hug him again to—to touch him to say _That's no it_.

But he couldn't say that.

Because he wasn't sure. Hell, he—he what? What was it? Could he honestly say it was just the damn alcohol? At least on _his_ part it wasn't but…and maybe it wasn't on Allen's, but then that would make much sense.

Though maybe this sort of thing _wasn't_ supposed to make sense? He didn't know, all he knew was Kanda was crying. In front of him. Because of what he saw.

"Yuu," and the next words came tumbling out unbidden, "are you…jealous?"

Not that it mattered but the expression, the jolting of muscles, and the fact that he didn't _quite_ pull away as far as he could have when he took a step forward. The indecision too, was so much unlike Kanda that he couldn't _not_ be interested, and really? How much _was_ the other man hiding from other people?

Another step forward.

Another step back.

Then, oddly, the other stopped, even when he took another step, even when he was literally _right there_, could feel the breath on his face, heck, could probably _kiss_ the other man if he had wanted to (which he did, but even if Kanda was drunk, he didn't want to risk it. After all, Mugen had a high possibility of popping up out of nowhere, just like Bookman did—and he _really, really didn't want that--)_

_Well._

Scratch that.

"Yuu," he tried again, as the Japanese man tilted his head back, shifted his body a little to make up for the slight difference in height, "I—"

"You what?" And he could feel the breath of the shorter man on his face, along with the muttered curse and then—

Lips.

Soft, thin, hesitant lips pressed against his own, laid there, actually, like the other wasn't quite sure of the mechanics.

But then, Lavi wouldn't have been too surprised if the other had never kissed someone before. Been kissed, yes, by fangirls in hilarious situations that should not be thought of now, but he had never been the one to initiate those.

…And since he hadn't, wouldn't it make sense to teach him? Lavi felt himself smile as the other man pulled away, all jitters and nerves, and glances away, and still tears, because Lavi had been a little too on the shocked end to respond.

Well, he'd just have to rectify that, wouldn't he?

So before Kanda moved away, he hooked one arm securely around his waist, tugging him forward so that their bodies pressed, pressed close together, and their lips did too, working, smoothing, and he could feel Kanda's hand reach up to grip his shoulder. Stability.

And damn he was still hard.

And Kanda noticed, which was probably why he was so embarrassed—Lavi didn't even need to have his eye open to tell the man was blushing. He would have thought it cute, too, but he was too busy kissing, and reassuring, and touching, and feeling the man shiver so much against him that everything else faded into the background.

His main focus? Yuu. His hair, now around his shoulder, and his lips, soft, and compliant, and he wouldn't be cliché and say the man had a taste (besides the wine), but he was intoxicating in his _own_ damn right.

And very much deserved to be pressed into the nearest soft surface, and thoroughly ravaged. If he allowed it, of course, which he seemed to, as he worked him back a few steps. Lavi smirked once more against his lips in a silent form of victory as the man's legs buckled willingly, and they fell in a massive tangle of limbs on the bed.

Only then did he pull away to stare down at the panting man below him, flushed, and blushing, and the tears still there, awkwardly shifting and _all_ there. Just for him.

Then he became all too aware of the other presence in the room, and would have cursed _that_ as well…had the next words not breached the silent.

"That was hot~" The singsong quality of the teens voice threw him for a moment, but the grin that accompanied it spoke in volumes as the younger man sauntered over to them from the doorway. So did the half lidded eyes, and the fact that he, too, was in the noticeable stages of arousal still.

Kanda shifted under him again, and a glance more than proved the man was _embarrassed_ oh so embarrassed, but then, how to handle a situation like this?

Apparently Allen decided for them.

How?

By climbing up on the bed, like it was a perfectly natural thing to do after catching his two best friends (Kanda would deny that like _hell_) making out. Stealing another kiss, too, was apparently just as acceptable, though the tensing underneath him during the action—Kanda obviously _was_ quite the jealous type—but _damn_ the Moyashi could kiss well.

"But y'know," he pulled away from the kiss, head cocked slightly to the side, "It's no fun, just watching." He glanced between the two of them, a pout forming on his lips, "And I don't quite like _you_," the taunting tone was nowhere near serious, but Kanda still bristled, "But I quite like _you_," still bristling, but Lavi grinned despite it all, he knew the conclusion the boy would reach, before he actually said it.

"So I don't mind. Maybe. Sharing. A little bit."

_Of course_.

And maybe it was all too damn good to be true, as he leaned down (without permission, of course), and sealed his lips on Kanda's again. But the Japanese man wasn't complaining, and neither was Allen, not even when Lavi shifted, and maneuvered, so that a knee was pressing against the junction between the man's thighs—and—oh, a _moan_.

"This is your first time, isn't it?" Maybe he should have been shocked that it was _Allen_ who said that, but then the technicalities didn't matter much at this point.

It was still fun to see Kanda blush though.

"A-And you _aren't_?" And try to say a coherent sentence.

"Nope." Oh, well, that might be surprising, "Cross made sure of _that_ right when I hit puberty."

Lavi tried not to make that a mood killer. Really, he did.

"Though I hit it kinda late," Allen continued on like it was nothing, "So don't worry. And it wasn't him either." A scowl set on his lips for a moment, "Though it probably would've been, if he had been drunk." A shudder, "If _I_ had been drunk." Then another, "Stupid chocolates." A swallow, and Kanda was gawking, and Lavi was sure _his_ mouth was open too.

"What?" And he was looking at them like they were crazy, "I really didn't tell you about the chocolates, did I?"

Dual heads shaking.

"Well it doesn't matter." But the smile was too bright, as his voice was lowered, "Not now anyway. But I'm horny, and you're going too slow, and you're not even half hard," the last one was directed at Kanda, "and you're _still_ reacting to simple stimulation. Of _course_ you haven't been touched before."

The second blush that crossed Kanda's cheeks was almost endearing, and the slight arch of back as Kanda pressed again—that was endearing too in its own special way, coupled with the new found information.

"Sh-Shut up, Moyashi." The belated threat fell short of any initial promise, as Lavi leaned down and bit his neck gently.

"Oh, I'd love to be shut up, but you need to be screwed more than me." Again, taunting, and nowhere _near_ as sincere as 'sober' Allen usually was, "Really, if that's the reason you were such a big prick before it makes _so_ much more sense." Then he flashed a smile that was almost predatory, grey eyes flashing over to Lavi, "Though please hurry~" and then he squirmed in _just_ a certain way (hands working at his belt—what were they doing _there_?) and--_oh shit_, "I really wanna continue what we were doing in the kitchen~"

His hand had disappeared between his legs. _Oh shit, oh shit_ he was probably jerking himself off, and (from the grin on his lips, purposefully) hiding it from them. That shouldn't have been as hot as it was, but _damn_.

He ground down a little harder on Kanda, shifting now so that it was hips against hips, so that Kanda could tell _just_ how hard he really was, and he knew the nip to his neck would probably leave a mark, but really? He didn't give a damn.

As Allen let out a breathy moan next to him, he worked on the buttons of Kanda's shirt, halting ever so often as the man invariably tensed under the light ministrations. After all, it _was_ the man's first time. He had to respect that to some degree.

The vague notion that the man had been saving himself for someone, popped into his head. But he pushed it away to save for a later date. Now wasn't the time to question thought processes, or reasons behind motives.

Hell, he had _Kanda Yuu_ in bed with him. And _Allen_ which was just as good, even better because it was _two_ and not one, and he actually wanted it this time (and from the looks on their faces, they wanted it too).

Being in control was a definite plus, as he ran his hands down Kanda's chest, pushing the folds of the nice dress shirt aside to view more pale skin, and that lone tattoo that stood out in stark contrast and black ink—  
He enjoyed the shiver too, when his hands reached up to play with sensitized nipples for a moment, and the scowl on the man's face made him grin and draw his tongue across his lips, before drawing the man into another breathless kiss.

"Oh _God_," And Allen's breathy pants, too, made the moment all the more real, each soft moan-laced word sending jolts of pleasure straight down his spine and making him twitch, "L-Lavi," and his _name_ too, dammnit!

He pulled away from Kanda briefly (not all the way, one hand was still there, teasing skin) and jerked Allen forward by the chin, to crash their lips together and swallow the moans.

_God_ he would remember this. He knew he would. It would be the main stake for his fantasies now, having both of them squirm _because of him_, and as he pulled away for a breather he noticed the glazed over quality of the others eyes as a trail of saliva held them together.

"Lavi, Lavi," the name was whispered on shortened breath, and legs were spread wider so he could see the hand moving beneath pants, against a strained erection, and a few moments later—with a strangled shout that made Kanda jolt—the boy came, shuddering, making a mess (Lavi was sure) of his pants.

And sure enough, the hand snaked its way out a moment later, coated in white.

"Well drat," Allen murmured when breathing stabilized enough to speak, "I got my pants all dirty." But he didn't sound particularly upset, as he worked his way off the bed for a moment, to dispose of the garments onto the floor.

He removed them hurriedly, but with as much skill that it _could have_ been considered a strip tease, but as the boxers were tugged off and kicked somewhere across the room, Lavi understood—yes the boy might be in a bit of a hurry.

He was already getting half hard again.

Not that he could pay much attention to that, when suddenly his face was turned back, to the man below him.

"Stop staring." Was the only murmur he got before his lips were taken in a kiss.

And he could hear Allen's chuckle off to the side, as a means of (he supposed) apology, "True, true, La-vi," the chuckle turned giggle as the mattress dipped again with added weight, "But hey, hey, I'm getting impatient! You're going too slow~" And then—with loud squawking protest, Kanda was jerked by his forearms into a sitting position—Allen sitting on his knees behind him _grinning_ like a cat that just caught a mouse.  
Or got high off of catnip, Lavi wasn't sure.

"What the fuck Moya—" Kanda didn't have time to get much else out as his shirt was tugged off and tossed off the bed.

"Don't 'what the fuck' _me_," Allen huffed, impatiently, "You weren't even half naked yet. I can understand going slow, but I wanna have some fun _too_ and if I have to help _you_," his face twisted a little in horror, a similar expression masking over Kanda's, "Then I will."

"Fuck no." The answer was immediate, and Lavi more than idly used the distraction to let his hands fall to the man's belt.

Allen only answered, "Yes, no fucking from me. But fuck _yes_ to Lavi doing you." Kanda jolted back, eyes darting down as he noticed his zipper finally coming undone, and Lavi had to laugh at the shocked expression.

"Well he _does_ have a point." He decided to contribute to the conversation, as he began tugging (unsuccessfully) at Kanda's pants, "Lift your hips for a second, neh?" A stronger flush crossed the other man's features, but he complied, raising them off the mattress high enough so that they could be tugged off.

Well, with _some_ work.

That Allen found amusing, apparently, "Did anyone tell you, you wear tight pants?" Kanda growled at him, but he simply laughed, "Maybe that's why all the girls _adore_ you, huh? Cuz you're actually 'gay' but are so in denial that they could _still_ have the possibility of dating you." A pause, "If you weren't such an ass." Another pause, a grin, "If you didn't like _taking it up the ass_."

At Kanda's enraged expression, Lavi spoke up, "Now, now, All-en, no bad puns please."

The pout he got was cute, _so cute_, but he couldn't concentrate on that, "Lift your hips again." _Oh the blush_, "I need to take your boxers off _sometime_ Yuu~"

But the man didn't budge, and he was sure as all heck that the man would've taken the words back had he known they slipped out—

But he didn't.

So he said them anyway.

"You aren't even naked yet." His expression so serious (as much as it could be, with the blush), so straightforward that Lavi couldn't help but let a chuckle slip. The horrified look on the man's face as he realized what he had just said made it _all_ the better.

He didn't even get time to correct it before laughter cut him off. From the Moyashi, of course, "You…you really…just said that?" It was trying to be stifled, but didn't work all the way, and the blushing scowl on the other man's face really was something Lavi wanted to commit to memory…

Except for he had to stop it before it escalated.

"Che, that's not what I meant _Moyashi_."

"What? Would you like to strip him, hmm? It _is_ kinda hard to fuck with clothes on. Not to mention sweaty." Lavi had to agree with him, as much as he hoped the boy's 'first time' had been the proper way, with lack of clothes, and more than enough consent, because if it hadn't then, well, he didn't want those memories bombarding him.

He just had to deal with two bed partners that hated each other ('dislike' was probably the better term, but to hell if he really cared, he wanted to concentrate on fucking and having a good time, not arguing and being bitter).

"Che, like you would know."

"Oh I would~" For all the teasing tone, his expression was darker.

Lavi didn't want to hear it. Not _now_ anyway, "Neh, neh, if you want me to strip so bad, then I can?" He shifted to move away, and almost chuckled when Kanda squeezed his legs just a little at the movement. "After all, it _is_ only fair, I mean." He touched one of the tense legs, only to feel it relax in his grip, "I want'cha ta be comfortable."

"But it's not like you're lovers." Lavi shot Allen a look, and Kanda still blushed, "What? I wanna see you naked just as much, so go ahead." He didn't seem to quite get the implication of the situation, and leaned back against the pillows which had gone slightly askew since the start of this whole thing.

But, well…

Might as well give them a show, right?

Lavi let out a low chuckle, deciding to play along, after all, he wanted this to be light, airy, with no hints of badness, so he wiggled himself away from Kanda's demanding legs (watching the man try vainly to make them relax again, blushing all the while at the sign of neediness) and stood.

First came the shirt, normally he would have tugged it off and tossed it to the side, but what was the point of a strip show if it was over too soon? So he grabbed the hem, and raised it slowly, revealing inch by inch, the skin of his stomach, then chest, and soon it was up over his head, and two sets of eyes were glued to him.

He had to say, he quite enjoyed the attention, lips twitching up in a smirk, as he tossed the offending cloth off in some random corner of the room.

Then came the boots, he could feel both boy's leaning farther so they could see him bend down to the first buckle. Then the second, and third, and maybe Kanda had been right one of those few times that he had actually mentioned his apparent need for _boots_ boots and _more_ boots.

Like the Shrek Character.

But Disney movies didn't apply to now (even _if_ that one had been a little bit crude to his overly observant brain), so he shoved the thoughts away, and kicked off the boots, along with the socks.

And now his pants, as he righted himself, and felt the eyes still staring at him.

He couldn't help the grin there, as his hand fell to his zipper and worked it down quickly, edging the fabric, again with painstakingly slow movements, down, down, _down_ with sharp intakes of breath and—

Then his pants were gone, and he was back on the bed again, in just his underwear, grinning at his two expectant bed partners, and immediately going down on one.

A passionate kiss, one Kanda didn't seem entirely prepared for, but he broke away easily enough, tongue running over his lips for a moment, before taking _Allen's_ lips, in a quick kiss, which the boy more than eagerly returned, one hand gripping Kanda's shoulder as he growled between them.

Then he was back again, against the pillows, and Kanda was hissing, as his boxers were being moved, and Lavi dipped a hand inside.

He thoroughly enjoyed the arch of Kanda's back, as his hand wrapped around his prize, and the moan that accompanied it a second later made him more than aware of how hard he had become, and the release he so desperately needed.

Lavi was dimly aware, too, when he glanced up once to tangle one hand in Kanda's hair, that Allen's hand had worked its way back between his thighs, but instead of hiding it, his legs were spread wide for all to see (he didn't even get a chance to wonder when exactly the pants had _come off_—but that mattered little, in the long run).

_Goddamn_

A hand on his own (the one playing with Kanda's growing need), brought him back though, to a scowling face, and a forceful kiss, "Stop _staring_." If the Moyashi hadn't been there he probably would have said, _Only stare at me._ though he would have _only stared at him_ if the Moyashi hadn't been there.

But then this probably wouldn't have happened.

And the back arched again, ridding him of more troublesome technicalities, as tongues began to duel, and his grip tightened from its lazy pump, to a much faster one, causing there to be more moans than gasps, more hisses, than muffled sounds through gritted teeth—and those legs spread wider, for him to work between, and with another timed movement—an arch of back—Lavi divested the other of his boxers.

And grinned, triumphantly, as the man's eyes snapped open in shock.

"Wha—"

That didn't get him very far, at the strangled sounds coming from the teen above them, on the bed, and he certainly was glad that that wall wasn't facing any neighbors, lest he wake them up, but then it wasn't too horribly late anyway, so they would still be up and even if they _were_, well.

At least these two were around his age. And friends.

He shoved away the dark feeling in his stomach, and crashed his lips against Kanda's once more, pulling the man up into a seated position, and tugging him practically onto his lap. A moan met the movement this time, as the tent in his boxers angled _just_ so, and pressed against the man's entrance.

"R_avi_." Arms wrapped around his neck, as hips ground down, running more on instinct that logical thought deduction, but Lavi didn't really mind, he just bucked up to meet the hips and—

_Holy--_

Breathy pants right in his ear, the hand between them slick with something more than sweat.

"Ah, you're close aren't cha?" He murmured, pulling away slightly and grinning.

Kanda wouldn't look at him, but he was sure that was the case, and let out a low chuckle, shifting so that the man slid off his legs, "Well if _that's_ the case then, might as well take the next step now, neh?" the question was more rhetorical now, it wasn't like he would stop now—heck, it wasn't like Kanda was inclined to _stop_ him.

Because he could see it there, flashing in those dark eyes.

Lust and something else.

The tears were still there too (which he found interesting, but in the good way, they were _good_ tears, not the bad kind), as he leaned over the bed and grabbed the bottle of aloe lotion he always kept on hand (not for those activities, mind you, but for dry skin. A Bookman must _always_ take good care of his hands, after all, considering how much they actually used them). He squirted an ample amount onto his hand, working it between his fingers until he felt the amount was enough, then he shifted back to Kanda and smiled.

He was almost surprised the see the hesitant uptwitch of lips return the motion. He would have commented on it too, but Allen had shifted again, on his hands and knees, to grab the bottle away from them.

He didn't question what the boy would do with it, when he saw a similar amount be coated on the boy's own fingers, and he almost wished he could watch the show, but Kanda was his main focus right now, as he spread the boy's legs again, he had to make this good.

Good because of first times. And first times always meant more than the last time, and the many times, and he could feel the muscles tense under his grip and he honestly couldn't blame the man.

"Shh, shh, Yuu," the man shivered at his name now, and his hair probably wasn't helping (with the way it brushed over his skin like that, everything over sensitized), so Kanda brushed a few strands back, and rubbed against the man's inner thigh with his un-lubricated hand.

He hoped the motion was comforting, and it seemed to be, with the way the muscles relaxed, and soon he was fully between them again, fingers lowering and brushing against skin that Lavi knew had never been touched before. He tried to be gentle while sliding in the first finger, watching for any sign of discomfort, though he knew Kanda probably wouldn't show him—even if he _was_ in pain.

But what he _did_ notice (besides Kanda's blatant refusal to look at him) was the sharp intake of breath Allen gave from above them. A quick glance in his direction revealed he was in a similar position, one finger slid inside to help prepare himself.

He grinned when he caught Lavi's eye on him, and licked his lips, shifting a little, spreading his legs even more.

Lavi couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine, as he pulled his attention back to the man below him, who was now scowling at him. Again.

Lavi smiled in what he hoped was an apologetic fashion, thrusting his finger in further against the constricting muscles and—

"Jeez, Yuu, calm down, would ya?" He murmured, running his tongue where he could reach, down the man's chest, to the tip of his member.

"Tch…e-easy…for you to…s-say…" the man under him shuddered, but Lavi could feel the muscles relax around his finger, if not only slightly.

"He's telling the truth, y'kn-now…" Lavi's eyes traveled back to Allen, who was pumping a finger in out with ease now, and—was that _another_ finger?

_It was_

"A-At this rate, I'll cum again before y-you even get fucked."

A growl emitted from the older man's throat, "Fuck you…M-Moyashi."

"Not you~ Lavi~" A grin, he could _grin_ even through—through—"So hurry up please~ I will say, though, you make sexy noises. But that's nothing." A shift, and Lavi could see the fingers scissoring back and forth now, and _damn_ if that wasn't even more of a turn on.

But really, he _did_ have a point.

"Neh, Yuu-chan?" The man's attention snapped back to him, tears still there despite it all, and he shifted--_closer?_--So he _did_ have the right idea? Lavi grinned, "Nevermind~ you got the right idea." He moved his finger around until—ah—

"There it is~"

"Finally." A relieved sigh from above, as a back arched up off the bed.

Lavi ran a tongue across his lips, watching Kanda writhe under him for a moment as he pressed against the spot again, "F-Fuck…" and the soft protests, too, even more of a turn on than—

He felt a shiver run down his spine, _Maybe one more finger won't hurt?'_

So he added one more.

A yelp and clench—

"Ah, ah, Yuu-chan," though it felt good, it would feel better if that clenching heat was around something _else_, "relax, remember? You'll thank me for this later~"

Kanda's mouth moved in soundless motions, and Lavi almost wondered what he wanted say, but a yelp cut off that thought. This time not from the dark haired boy below him, but from the white haired teen squirming against his pillows, face flushed, "H-Hurry," Allen mouthed a moment later, arching again, "_please?_ B-Bakanda…can take…a little pain, c-can't…he?" The breathless quality of his voice, coupled with how his face tinged just as red as Kanda's own defeated half the purpose.

But then this wasn't supposed to be a _competition_, was it?

Well, damn him if he knew.

So instead he focused back on Kanda who was sending the best glare he could at the both of them, but even then—the tears dampened the emotion.

"Neh, gotta agree with tha Moyashi, Yuu-chan," he murmured lowly, feeling the man clench around his fingers--_goddamn_ he would tell him to not _do_ that _but_--"Do ya think ya can handle it?"

"Che, I won't fucking break." But he wasn't looking at him.

"But it's your first time."

"_Do I look like I care?_" Lavi blinked, mildly surprised at the man's use of his native tongue but brushed it aside, and answered just as easily:

"_again, your first time, Yuu, you're sure?_"

"Oi! Oi!" Allen shifted above them, panting, "As sexy as it is hearin' you talk in a diff' language, _hurry up_."

And for once Kanda's lips twitched into a satisfied grin, "_Che, if the Moyashi knows self restraint_."

Lavi chuckled and slowly worked his fingers one last time inside the Japanese man, before slowly pulling them out, and, well, he liked the blush as he licked them clean. This was _so damn fun_. Really.

"If ya say so." He decided to switch back to English, causing the Moyashi to exhale rather loudly, "Okay then, spread your legs a little." They didn't spread. He nudged them a little, "C'mon Yuu-chan, stop bein' so—"

"I'm not." The man cut him off, closing his legs a little more. _Ah, a bout of nervousness _ Lavi grinned.

"I _was_ gonna say frigid as hell—"

"I'm _not_."

"Well if you're so demanding," he gripped both legs and spread them forcibly again, "An' keep 'em like that."

He was almost surprised the man _ did_, but then he hated being called a liar. So it only made sense. In a weird sort of way.

He pushed the thought aside, _Not_ _like thinkin' now's gonna do me any good_ and instead focused once more to the suddenly pliable legs under him. Shifting closer, he gave a grin, and he more than heard Kanda's sharp intake of breath.

"Now remember, Yuu-chan," he hummed softly, "_Relax_ m'kay? It'll only hurt if ya don't~"

"Don't tell me something I already fucking k-know."

"Being the virgin that you are." Allen added on snidely, though when Lavi glanced at him, he noticed the boy was shaking. It was only a matter of time, hell, he was basically riding on the hope that Kanda wouldn't last long. Maybe the man wouldn't. It _was_ his—

"Shut the _fuck_ up M-Moyashi,"

"You stuttered~"

"Now, now you two," both sets of eyes landed on him, he grinned at the power, "No fightin' y'hear?" He shifted a little closer and Kanda scowled, he had to place both hands on the man's hips to keep him from scooting away. "Ya really aren't used ta bein' touched, are ya Yuu?"

"And he won't _get_ used to it if you don't just do it already." They both shot Allen a look, who—pouted at them. _What_? "Just _do_ it already! Please?" and he made the last word sound so pitiful—and Lavi—_fuckity fuck fuck_ he hadn't quite been prepared for it—but Kanda—Kanda was—sitting _up_ now—

"He has a fucking point." And hissing at him…lowly…and soon the mattress was much closer and—_goddamn_—

"Oh?~ Kinky, Ka-nda—didn't know y'had it in you?~" But Lavi barely heard him, when he saw Kanda slowly lower himself—_slowly, slowly_—over his lap—over his—he breathed in sharply when the head of his member pressed against a certain tight ring and—_goddamn_—

"Yuu—y'don't have—"

"Shut. The. FUCK. Up."

His mouth snapped shut. Oh yes. Talking? So overrated. Touching was much better, as he ran his hands up the older man's chest—touching the muscles that rippled with each movement—so close—he could _smell_—and—goddamn it was intoxicating, even when he heard him gasp in obvious pain—and pause.

Well he didn't like pausing so much. Or the fact that Yuu was in _pain_—so he ran his hands along his sides to grip at hips that were really more prominent than Yuu would have liked—

Not that it mattered, "Neh—Y-Yuu?" He stuttered, grasping for breath just as he grasped at those wonderful hips, slowing the motion—"Are—you—"

"No. Talking." He sounded pained. Fuck, Lavi didn't want there to be _pain_—

"I told ya ta go slow--!" and when he saw those eyes again—the tears were there again, along with a rapidly shaking head, and bangs falling forward—trying to hide those tears—"You—_are_ hurt, aren't you?"

"If he is he'll get over it." Suddenly his vision wasn't filled with Yuu-chan's and tears and possible pain in a rigid body—it was filled with grey and white and equally pale skin and a grin that said more than Lavi ever _could_—"Then he'll get over it. He's not a sissy. Just…a stuck up prude. Which is close enough. So~"

Spider Man.

He felt like Spider Man—

But he supposed maybe—didn't upside-down kisses do that you? He figured they did—so he kissed back—feeling a tongue probe against his lips—_ah_—He wanted to take control? Well—_heh_—

He heard another his come from his nether regions and—"_Jesus Christ_!"

"You shouldn't say the lords name in vain~ Or at a time like this, anyway." He heard Allen chuckle, breath puffing against and—wait—_what_?

"Neh—Al-len~"

"Hm?"

"Why're you covering my—" his breath hitched as he felt warm flesh connect with his—"_Eyes_?!" It was perfectly understandable that his voice hitched (painfully) at that—but _really_—

"I wonder. How's it feel?" the hand didn't move from his eye—but that didn't matter, he could feel the Moyashi well enough, shifting on the bed directly above him—

"Shut _up_ Moyashi."

"I just wanna know. I mean." One overdramatic sigh later and Lavi felt one of his hands being pried away from Yuu's hips and—wait—wait—_what_?

It was being wrapped

Around

_Something_.

More hitched breathing, as his grip tightened, "_Ah_—because—I _want_ that t-too…!"

"Tch well—you—can'—t."

"You _sure_? I m-ean~ You look like—you aren't—" A giggle, "Lift your hips for a second~"

"What th—"

"I don't like _you_ but y'aren't going ta—get anywhere fa-fast if you just—_nnh_! Lavi!" Lavi's hand tightened around the boy's member, stroking it firmly in his grip because it seemed—he _liked_ that, did he? Lavi almost regretted not being able to see but—that didn't matter so much—

The hand was lifted in a second—to fall next to his head, gripping the sheets in a death grip—"Lift—your—_hips_."

Lavi _was_ surprised this time, when he saw the man comply, only a fraction—hissing, but only slightly—before lowering them again.

"Good~ You get it."

"Shut _up_!"

"But that's no _fun_!"

"N'might not be fun—but cha know—I dun want you two ta kill each other, neh?~" Lavi smirked inwardly when he heard Allen gasp just a little louder (it was almost a _whine_ now) as his finger brushed over the tip—he was leaking _already_ well—then he'd just have to hurry, wouldn't he?

So he squeezed just a little tighter around the base of Allen's cock—and gripped Kanda's hip just a little tighter as he felt him lift again, then lower, not even caring that he could lift his head now and watched if he wanted—watch touch—_feel_—

He let out a low moan when he felt Kanda collapse back down—and then up—and then down—he seemed to be getting used to it—that was _good_, very good—

"_Ah_…!" Lavi shivered at that—at the combined moan between the two, lips twitching to a smirk as Allen squirmed in his grip and Kanda clenched above him—moving a bit faster—head raising—eyes clenching shut along with his movements.

He still saw the tears, though, burning at the edge of each eye—it made his heart jerk a little—made him almost want to ask but—

Too soon—all too soon, Yuu was changing position, leaning down, to press every expanse of their chests together—hips working twice as hard, and Lavi felt a groan torn from between his lips, only to have it swallowed up by a frantic kiss—a probing tongue and panting too soon in his ear.

He ran the fingers of his free hand up the perfectly bent back—against the spinal chord—hitting nerves, and sensitized skin, wrapping fingers around silky black tresses—

When they broke apart for air he knew it wasn't too far off—from the sticky substance against his stomach—it was only a matter of—a matter of—

"_Rabi_." Broken words uttered between parted lips. And then he felt it, splattering against his stomach—signifying the release that—

"_Goddamn_," He squeezed his lone eye shut, digging dull nails into perfect skin, as the muscles inside clenched like a vice—and the air was forced prematurely from his lungs.

Soon he had a very tired, very warm body pressed against him—forcing even more air from his lungs as he gave up all will to hold up his own body weight—

"N-Neh—Y-Yuu," it hurt and he was gasping—there—in pain—_pain_—because his lungs were being crushed and not only was he not moving (he was probably too exhausted) but he also wasn't…unseating himself. And that would be an issue, in that crushing grip—it was obvious he was too tired to move—a second round was out of the question entirely but—

His nether regions sparked at the idea, just as he heard Allen curse from next to him and squirm away—roughly grabbing on to the 'BaKanda' and saying—

"M'turn—get _off_."

Kanda didn't have the heart to push him away—but _really_—"Neh, be _patient_—" he grabbed the boy's hands, on Yuu's shoulders and paused the movement, shifting and whispering, softly, "neh, Yuu can ya—let go…fer a sec?" The body sagged even further in his grip, only to tense when he began to lift (_damn_ it was hard in this position) him off his lap, and roll him where Allen had once been lying.

A soft groan escaped from between his lips a moment later, and Lavi nearly flinched at the feeling of cold air brushing past overly sensitized overly warmed skin—

And then, of course, Allen had to go and _poke_ it.

Poke it and—

"_Fuck_!"

"What?" grey eyes flashed up at him, "I'm just…_tasting_ you, is that bad?" He scowled at the splatters on his chest, "And getting this too—because _ick_—I'm not—that's gross." Lavi shivered at the warm, soft, tongue lapping at his skin—lapping up the seed that was spilt, and spent from the boy lying lazily—and a bit incoherently—next to them. It was a matter of minutes before the white head rose again and licked his lips—nose scrunched up a bit, "Egh—it's…_salty_."

Lavi almost wanted to laugh, but he didn't, "What'd ya expect?"

"Something better."

"You've been reading yaoi fanfiction haven't you?" Grey eyes widened at the accusation—

"_No_!" A pause, "Well. Maybe. Once or twice. Lenalee was into it so—I kinda—" he trailed off, shaking his head, "Yes. I expected it to taste differently but the _BaKanda_," here he prodded the Japanese with his foot, "is so bitter _anyway_ so it kinda makes sense. 'Cept it was more salty—"

"Well you…ate all of it." Lavi chuckled at the boy's tense shoulders, "Anythin' else I should know?~"

The flushed cheeks were just a consequence, he was sure—a byproduct—when the white haired teen lowered him self to—

"_Ah_!"

Lick at the tip—_goddamn_—"Please don't do that…" he smiled though it was more like a grimace.

"If you say so." A pause, "Drat. I want-ed to ride you too—like…I mean…hm," and then—before Lavi could say another word, the boy turned his back to him—

"_Alle—_"

"Hush. Guide me." Immediately his hands flew to his hips, as one hand (since when were Allen's hands _that_ small?) guided his member to the correct position—and then an eerily familiar feeling overtook him—with each inch of flesh that disappeared within that aching heat—

Aching—_aching_—

Lavi inhaled sharply, squeezing his eye shut, "_All-en_."

He got a choked laugh as a reply, "L-Like—that?" And a few stuttered words to finish it off, as those hips rose again, "I mi-ght—not be as—_tight_ as…a—certain—_someone_—" the body on the bed next to them groaned and shifted—Lavi felt a puff of breath by his arm, "_But_—I've got experience, and—I wanna make you _scream_~ y'know?"

Somewhere in the deep recess of Lavi's brain he stored that information, and gripped the boy's hips just a little tighter as the hips lowered—engulfing every inch of him in a way that Kanda _couldn't_—

"_Fuck_, you're—_how_--?" Did he want to know?

No. No he didn't, he decided. Not with the alcohol laden chocolates or Cross's teaching about _sex-ed_ (wow what a ride _that_ must've been) to barely comprehending minds and—

"Mmn? M_mm_?" the head turned, as far as it could, to look back at him, lips grinning—"_Whaat_ is it?" And then he rose again—teetering a bit (the only sign of a novice, there, with the barely-shaking breaths and exhales) before settling himself a little faster, "Want me to go _faster_?"

That sounded like a very good idea, in fact. A much better one—

"Mm going to finish real' soon—probably faster than the _BaKanda_ but." Rise and fall, rise and fall—their breaths hitched and mingled—"I—d-don't think that _matters_ much."

"_Really_?" Lavi shifted only slightly—and then bucked his hips up—violently—into his 'best friend'—feeling his back arch and—_goddamn_, letting out a low groan of his own.

"Y-Yes really." Allen met the thrust with vigor—pounding down as—as Lavi thrust up—and—"A—_ah_—please?"

For a moment he had no idea what the hell he meant, but when the hands tugged at his hands which were still placed firmly at his hips—he got the idea. Letting out a low hiss, Lavi looped one arm around Allen's torso and jerking him back against his chest—bare chest pressed against bare back as another moan tore from his throat.

He wouldn't ask—but—the thought was there, rattling in his lust hazed brain.

"Ahn—_Lavi_!"

He wouldn't ask—_but_—

Allen's hips moved, rotated—pressed down—

He wouldn't ask—but—_goddamn_—

The kid knew what he was doing.

If he was any chance near coherency he would have been worried. More than worried—but in the haze of lust, and Kanda's panting –_right next to him_—vying for his attention, stealing his lips in a watery kiss—it never quite registered, or mattered other than—

_Thoseclenchingmuscles_

"La-_ah_-vi_!" _

That soft moan—

"S'close—" the words garbled against those same lips—_ah_ a tongue—still vying for attention even though he already got his turn? _Ah, Yuu-chan—so cute_! Even if that wasn't the exact word for it.

He was close. Allen was close—tipping his head back to hit against his chest—he broke away from the liplock only momentarily to kiss the top of his head—against the soft sweatsoaked white hair—

And then a soft, barely there moan—quiet and subdued and soon he felt—_when had his hand managed to…?_ But he didn't question it—his hand coated in a sticky substance that dripped onto the bedsheets. Not even a moment later had the exhausted beansprout sag against his chest, breathing hard and rapidly, until Lavi allowed his hand to unwind, to grip easily at his waist.

It didn't quite matter that he—stayed there—seated on him, in him, it was like another part of the embrace, almost.

That is until Kanda let out a low growl, punching him with nowhere near enough force, and mumbled out, "m'nine…_baka_…"

"Nnn…" and grey eyes—staring up at him blearily, "Nah—he's…_mine_." With a brush of lips, though, Allen did the work for him, slowly raising his hips until his member slipped easily out –wincing only once, in pain, but quickly swallowing it to roll over onto his back, on the other side of the bed—exhaling—

"Sleep more important." Lavi half wondered if the drink was finally catching up to him.

He figured it didn't much matter.

"Sounds like as good an idea as any." He let out a low chuckle, Shifting the sheets (the top on soiled—but he wasn't about to make them get _off_) until they both rested pleasantly underneath. It struck him that it was—almost nice, having two bodies to lie next to—it was better than being alone, hell, it was better than _one_—

Might as well savor the indulgence.

He didn't want to think of the morning after.

**Flashback mode Ends now---------------------------------------------------**

"B-But Yuu-chan! I swear I-I didn't mean—"

"Like i_fuck/i_ you meant anything," The man was seething, and Lavi was pretty sure the door wouldn't hold much longer, "Now get the i_fuck/i _out here and take it like a man!"

"Yeah but—how can ya _expect _me to when you're tryin' ta _kill _me!" No one would blame him for being a coward this time, right? _right_?

"Like you don't fucking deserve it." But there was a lengthy pause beforehand (enough of one that Kanda was willing to give) and maybe Lavi could latch onto that, "I'll fucking cut your balls off."

He cringed. Well, maybe not.

"B-But I _ like_ my balls! They're important to reproduc—"

"In case you haven't fucking _noticed_. I'm _not _a fucking _female_!"

"A-and I _know_ that!" He backed farther away from the door, though, as it began to rattle dangerously again. How the hell was he going to explain why the door needed replacing? Much less the _bathroom_ door? Bookman would surely worry, no, scratch that, the old man would probably castrate him _ anyway_ if he—

He swallowed at the thought, shuddering when the door creaked loudly.

"_Lavi_." He didn't miss the venom in the others voice.

"I said I was sorry!" But the response was feeble.

"Like that fucking got you anywhere! Come the fuck out or I'm breaking the damn door down!"

"But you might wake the Moyashi!"

"Like I fucking care!"

"But _I_ care!"

"Che, just because you don't want two fucking people after you?!"

"N-No!" He paused, well, "He needs his sleep! I mean, c'mon, he—he came more than you did last night!"

"And I need to fucking know that?!" He wasn't sure but he heard embarrassment in the others voice.

"Yup, he totally one-uped you!" He could use this to his advantage, he was sure, "Though I'm sure we can make an agreement, after all, this _was_ your first ti—"

He cringed inwardly when he heard the loud string of curses afterward, and he was pretty sure if the man was any louder, he'd wake the Moyashi up (as heavy a sleeper as the kid was)

"So…" it was almost startling when Allen broke the silence between them and from the curious expression on his face Lavi almost dreaded what the boy would say next.

"Who do you like best? Me or Kanda?"

* * *

And there's the end, folks.

Comments would be greatly appreciated if you choose to give them? *hopeful* Also if there's anything that seems out of place (or doesn't match up) _please tell me_ (it's what happens when I pick up a fic I haven't worked on for like...a month or more) I will try to change it _asap_! *bows head*


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